The Nightmare Begins

A few days later I received a call from one of my banks saying there had been suspicious spending on my card. I thought it was a hoax call and hung up. However, I decided to check my bank account and could see that money had been spent fraudulently. I phoned the bank back to confirm. I have two other bank accounts and checked those too and money had been fraudulently spent. All together the fraudster had spent about $2000 of my money on flights and restaurants including almost $1000 at the popular Nomad Restaurant in Surry Hills in Sydney.

I spoke with one of my closest friends who is a serving police officer. He immediately asked if I had met anyone while I had been away. I told him that that I had met someone who contacted me on Grindr. He advised me to check this person’s Grindr profile, and I was able to see that he was in Adelaide which is where the final spending on one of my cards had taken place. If he had not suggested it was the person I had met while away it would never have occurred to me that it was him.

I felt so violated on realising that the person I had met for an intimate encounter had likely been the same person who had defrauded me. The idea filled me with horror and sent a cold sharp shiver down my spine. Finding out I had been defrauded online and by someone using a scamming machine would be bad enough. However, knowing someone that I had met in person and had had sex with had done such a thing made me feel physically sick. I was shaking but remained as calm as I could given the situation.

I suspect many people are also unaware that they were defrauded by him or are too closeted or embarrassed to report such a crime. I also set up a dummy Grindr account in case he blocked me on my own one which he did indeed do that evening. I continued to track his location on Grindr until his profile was deactivated in April 2024.

I take full responsibility for taking my debit cards and ID cards to the hookup. I advise nobody to do this. Bring some cash but no other valuables. However, I take no responsibility for his actions in defrauding me. I am not to blame and nor are any of his other victims. That is on him and his responsibility alone.

I also wish to make it clear that at no time did I offer my debit or ID cards to the suspect. Nor did I consent to him using them or accessing them.

I pulled myself together and phoned the nearest police station in the city where I had met him. The rather abrupt and gruff officer on duty advised me to contact my nearest police station in Sydney who he advised would probably contact police where he was.

I informed my banks who were very good in paying the money back within about a week. I contacted the NSW Police information line about the crime but heard nothing for many days. I even went into my nearest police station, Redfern, and they were not much help. It took around 11 days for a statement to be taken. During this time, it was clear that the suspect was staying in the Four Seasons Hotel in Sydney and indeed continued to be a regular guest there. I knew this through seeing his location on Grindr.

As previously mentioned, it took about 11 days for a statement to be taken and that was only because a police officer friend insisted to colleagues in Redfern that one was taken. Three police officers came over very early one morning to take s statement with only a few minutes notice. I had only just woken up.

The officer in charge of my case was a probationary constable which alarmed me as I felt he was too inexperienced to take on such a case and this has been confirmed by friends who are serving police officers. None of the police officers who came to my home seemed to have a clue what Grindr was or how it worked which surprised and concerned me as I lived in an area where many gay and bisexual men were living. I had to explain the wonders, delights and horrors of Grindr to them.

During the statement I had some concerns about what was being included and what was being excluded. In particular, the officer in charge (OIC) left out the part where the suspect found shit on his finger. I expressed concern about this as I believe it should have been included as I feel it was a crucial piece of information regarding the suspect’s modus operandi. He insisted it was not needed. I felt so uncomfortable about this but against my better judgement I signed the statement. In hindsight I should not have signed it.

I was able to see the suspect’s location on Grindr, and it was clear he was constantly travelling around Australia. He was regularly staying in Sydney at the five-star Four Seasons by Circular Quay. At this point I had no idea of his identity except that he had told me his name was apparently Anton and that he was from Melbourne. About a week or so after taking my statement the Officer in Charge of my investigation, the Probationary Constable, told me had a person of interest in Melbourne. I later found out this was a false lead.

On the advice of my police officer friend, I offered my debit cards for DNA and fingerprint analysis and elimination. This offer was regularly ignored until finally the Officer in Charge of my investigation told me he had enough information based on his bank account details which he said could not be changed.

Over the next few months, the suspect was staying regularly at the Four Seasons Hotel. I would write to the OIC, and my emails and questions would regularly be ignored for several weeks at a time. However, he did reassure me on a number of occasions that the police file would be transferred to Victoria Police.

On one occasion he asked me to contact detectives at East Caulfield Police Station in Melbourne at my “earliest convenience”. I contacted them several times and they had no idea of my police file or my case. I was starting to get worried. I was right to be. Oh, I was so right…